The folks at our local AlphaGraphics play an underhanded game, and I should’ve known better. This teaches me I have to trust in my intuition more, because it was certainly telling me over the past month that all was not right there.
Toward the end of the day, my boss, coward that he is, had to send his wife in to give me the layoff notice, and only after a few minutes he kind of poked his head in as if he was tied up with something really important, but was granting me a moment to offer a final nod to my good efforts.
“You no longer seem happy here.” And: “it seems you’ve outgrown the place.”
I handled this in a way that surprised even myself. “There’s really nothing I can say, except that if you were unhappy with me, you should have come to me and it would have been rectified on the spot. But now I get the feeling, like you’ve done with Carol, you’ve hired someone behind my back, they start tomorrow, and so this is something that can’t be turned around. Isn’t that so? You have someone already lined up, don’t you?”
“Because the people at corporate told us to do it this way, that graphic designers can’t be trusted. Upon termination, they usually trash company files on the server, and this causes much damage.”
No two weeks notice, no nothing.
. . .
I’m having a good time being the hell out of there. Fate has better plans for me. Check the global patterns entry. I was in fact saying all things end, and focusing literally on the tired things, how those end, and it was beautiful to me.
this is your last day
this is your last time
at the counter
buying orange juice
and your last time
at this traffic light
I have gone back, because I’m crazy like that, and had them print up my resume. My younger self would’ve been too proud. Today, I figure, why not? Why not use them like they’ve used me? Otherwise I’d be printing my shit at Kinkos and paying for it. Sure, I’ll play their little game—and by doing it, they’re playing mine.
Or I should say, because I look at it this way, there isn’t one. Strip away the ego and there are no grand exits. They cannot humiliate me or make me feel shame. The game is done with. So I come and I go as I please.
So then it is just about the dollar rolling into the account and babying the hell out of the cats.
This is a miraculous event. I put my hand down on Kalika’s little chest and feel her heartbeat. When I am near her, she begins to purr.
I hold in my set of hands
but no more
I, and you, too
caring, peace, wisdom
and true freedom
(not the fake kind)
and somewhere in this
knowledge of graphic design
and printing and hypertext markup language (rusty)
you will see, you