Some Bloodspill

up late
layering words
down as to
make sense
of what I’m thinking
this is now
the age old tradition
of many
and why
for the life of me
I go on explaining it…
I suppose
I just get all
wordy like a narrator
and mostly besides
the need in it
there is also
a joy in it
and when you
write it
you can really
go on for quite
some time

throw it
out to sea

confessing that
all is not
well

a personal
freakout

I stay up late
starve myself
binge on books
Internet
goofy shit…
I somehow have
entered an
unhealthy territory
and no amount
of Buddhist meditation
or anything
is going to help me
if I don’t love myself

imagine an intruder
what you would do
the bloodspill
an awful scene…
this is an unfinished
thought,
the motivation itself
for which I
am unaware

this possibly means
I’ve got my writing
to a level where I can
run along almost
JUST like I’m talking

talking thoughtlessly

hmmm

now if I could
only improve my speech
be more thoughtful ahead of time
it’s something I’ve
been thinking on
for millennia

write like you speak
speak as god as a top dog or
simply speak like
you give a damn