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today I thought about Sunday being such a good thing because it’s a day you have to yourself. I had it that way, for the most part. free time is like gold and gold is so valuable because it’s rare. I’m not King Midasing myself to death with free time. everything turns to time.

thinking much about a deliberate programing of the subconscious mind and learning the specifics of how all that works so that I can use it to my advantage. one thing is that, the sub c. is the memory area, has no ideals or set standards of morality. it acts more like a mirror. also, this area does seem to have some personality, because it comes up with its own creative solutions to things. you know how when you’re stumped with something, you decide to let go of it for a bit, relax, go on a walk, and all of a sudden the answer comes to you just like that? that’s your subconscious coming back to help you. “the name of the movie is on the tip of my tongue,” you say, “this is so frustrating. oh well, it’ll come to me later.”

we set most of the clocks forward, the ones that did not automatically set themselves. I woke up from a dream about there being one day a year where certain people would age two or three years forward in time, or backwards. this made things very difficult for them because they lived their lives with less of a sense of permanence. thought about writing this into a short story, but it didn’t pan out. at this point, this is where I set it down and move on.

now I’m drinking water to flow oxygen through body feeling gradually more tired by the minute. Sopranos: amazing episode tonight, probably the best of the season so far. Deadwood is getting better and better. news came over the weekend that Fox has cancelled Wonderfalls. no surprise there. Fox never really knew how to take care of their dramas, though this one, I hate to admit, didn’t do much for me. I really wanted to like it, but it just came off too stupid, like a Malcolm in the Middle episode or something. “all the networks suck,” said Casey. and this is true. except for HBO who hit with one great series after another. I made up the new Six Feet Under commercial, which goes like this: “In June, a new season– Smart people are psyched. Dumb people remain dumb.”

April is so far absolutely freezing. thanks a lot. I was enjoying March much more. windy as all hell. still I’m having a great time reading the Invisibles (graphic novel) and am experiencing it trip my mind out in psychedelic ways. I can’t wait to read more.

not bored at
all these days
tormented
maybe
mashed potatoes
with vegetarian gravy
her boyfriend
is released
from the army
comes back with
a tan sitting
there in the coffee shop
when we come in
welcome back,
I say, but
he must not
have heard me
they’re used
to people
yelling
I guess
which is just
one more reason
why I’ve
never gone
I’m throwing
out sticks
the Lab is
drooling all over them
and bringing them back
throw again throw again!
okay okay!
the drive was
long and sick and twisted
we were lost then
figured it out
and it was cool from there
a whole pen of beagle puppies
howling at us as
we came in on the gravel driveway
on the way out I rolled the window down
and howled at them which
was like pushing that first domino
little bibbys love to get spastic

68 news bits in the holding tank waiting like lies
collecting there with a set of bills some of
which not even stable on the frequency because
when it comes time to grab the pen you
realize “hey, I’ve already paid this one”
someone reach me the phone
talking sense into them
into the other end of the line
yes, sir
we will fix what we broke and
is there anything else we can do for you today?
yes, I could use some free movie tickets
or a microwave, or something like that.
anything for my trouble
because I could have read an entire
issue of the Invisibles by now
what’s that?