histories

his stories

today, yesterday, this era large tree branch soul does 1300 dollars subtraction tipping the scale as it falls onto my car and stirs the folklore some more tales this era about my microwave cutting in and out, out today again, and Rudra has wild eyes, scurries through the leaves in the yard as we say good bye to a friend, he shoots up a tree. we take pictures of this and are absorbed in love for him. perfection. dishes washed, bathroom cleaned, school projects. pains have spread over my leg sparing so far my foot, causing uneven steps and explanations – waiting for doctor information because they study harder. an era like this we go fumbling around the paper work yelling small minds bloodying our noses. I’ve seen idiots before, so idiots today come to me to interview me. I tell them to keep what they’re doing, continue climbing the idiot chain, and they will profit. of course I want my small freedoms. tasting small freedoms I want more, these freedoms vacations torments because I’m from some place else, I am packaged here forced to give blood and urine samples.

I’m holding on to my memories of my friends if I cannot hold onto my friends themselves and families are for thanksgiving dinners like being rejected at job interviews, discouraged that you’ll never amount to anything but become a receptacle a face to blow smoke into a place to inject insults into. your own self abuse is used to moon shadowing whatever that means. your own self is slain today because you hate yourself.

I’ve had to rebuild myself, but I didn’t put a price down. where I’m going, it’s all good credit. I’m gonna start something though I don’t know what but we’ll all start to see. the mountains will feel the effects. paint flecks, genuine endeavor.

my kitten trick or treats by sneaking out the door and climbing around in the attic. by the time we realize she’s up there, she’s under the floor boards and hissing at us, because some cats have small brains and are silly, thinking their very owners are their enemies. this makes us half laugh, half worry – but me, being me, three fourths worry, but drive casey and winna through town, to dinner, back. collapse. midnight movie friday, Ghostbusters. these are big events in town, the theater makes you think you’re a different person in a different time. I don’t go enough.

a friend is hit by a car, but so far is pulling through. by the droves people are concerned for this great person. how have we become so distant. life has cruel twists and turns. I don’t worry any more for this reason about putting warning labels or apologies on what I write thinking people can’t handle it, because they may be going through much worse. try to give what you know. this is worth it. keep pushing what you know into people. these are the dullest ones, the ones you wind up working for. a cruel joke. you don’t feel free. you fight for big and small freedoms, things for yourself, comforts, video games, mental stimulants like that, something you can pour yourself into, your talents, your problem solving abilities. a man needs his hobbies while he does his time.

I am interested in chess
comics
henry miller
dostoevsky
macs
ipods
music
games
ideas
philosophy
spirituality
depth
cats
golden retrievers
the opposite sex
books out
the yin
and the yang
sleeping
feeling
well rested
boxing
but also
somehow
peacefulness
this may
be equated then
with struggle

of course I learn late in the game just how lactose intolerant I am, and can’t cook worth a damn unless someone is holding my hand walking me through it. blues. no music. news. how do you use it? shows. shoes. bad timing. bad lighting. come back when we are done needing to be so alone with one another. so they are left there and I can predict lives by what I know in wise control of winds that carry fire and make american dreams no more unless you have insurance then they refill your tank and you’re going for just a little bit more. I come back and you both have in that time made love and filled the rest of it with fights that burn bright. by birth right you claim reasons for smashing mirrors. how come my stories are happening to someone else?

return keys. errors. I want you to save this in your sock and show it to your boss and tell him what he is missing out on. boss, if you’re reading this, read on. long before all this, I’ve been in mental plots to bring down all that was brought up by selfishness and caused harm to minorities. minorities actually are the majority. somehow it has worked out like that. one day you will be swinging from a ledge and I can’t say you will find my grip to be the tightest you have seen in this life, but I wish you well in the next. try not to burn in hell in the next, unless you find some enjoyment in that kind of thing. this is erroring out. you can void it out. if you leave it in your pants pocket at the cleaners, it will wash right out.