I am better with the small time
than the big time
the weekend time
of course I prefer this
but I do not use it
all to the best
of my advantage
it is usually
Monday morning
when I feel I could
use just that one
extra day
and I would be
more settled in
with myself
and would make
the most of
that day at home
then it is
too late
and you
have to get
used to
the city again
riding the trains
all the way in again
crossing the bridge
all the routine things
perfecting both
just doesn’t seem
possible
perfecting any of it
just doesn’t . . .
so you hang on
accept it
in humility
that the
perfection of
spiritual pursuits
does not
come easy
not like
a broadband
internet connection
this is
where you
work on yourself
it was easier
to turn away from
that
but the pain comes
this is vague generalized
religious rambling
more clear:
soda water is
not desirable
I compare a day
to a life span
what you think of now
you dream of and
run from later
slip out of consciousness
and into another
death
and in the morning
rebirth
readjusting
hardly making it
out of bed
blurry vision
you wanna get
back into bed
but you’re called
into the world
then drink water instead
lighten up on the sugar
live simply
live for reading
so that
you can live for prayer
prayer can
soften you to
help others
or you should pray for that
in prayer you
can confess that
you think
mostly sinful thoughts
and have your
material world battered experiences
you can confess
you fess up
con-fess
fess up to
the cons you think you pull
the violence you’ve caused
the pride in spring when
the suffering is eased
and you
own the street you
walk down (out of jubilation)
fade out & update: Tiger Balm is working well on my hip, relieving the pain. hardly anyone, except for a few telemarketers have bothered us with their calls. of course friends are always welcome to call – but I’m just saying that the house is nice and quiet and outside too hardly is there any noise. so there should be no excuse for getting our reading mucked up.
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