can you cope?

thinking about it some more, why should I feel guilty about being angry, about being upset? I think it’s a natural response in this circumstance. I have to really look at it and make sure that this anger doesn’t make me lose control. another very important thing is that I communicate in truth and communicate…… Continue reading can you cope?

second-hand smoke

positive energy. please don’t hurl. when you think of that, please slow down and really meditate on it. what it means to have positive energy . . . I want to know, in the midst of being and/or feeling victimized, what a person should do. the expression “constant prayer” pops into my head. it’s french…… Continue reading second-hand smoke

first night of storms

it’s been said that you may be reborn right in the middle of a family curse. there’s no doubt about it; I just want to know how I should deal with it. it’s like having a broken leg. you deal with it by accepting it and walking on crutches. except walking on crutches might not…… Continue reading first night of storms

action/inaction

God, I want to do the right thing. knowing exactly what to do is not always the best thing. I have my own ideas. I try to keep my spirits up, do push ups in the middle of the room, read as much as possible. when I feel far away in faith I try not…… Continue reading action/inaction

air

family visiting for a few days. yeah, music is so uplifting in such cases. it’s all I want to hear. violence in the air now I didn’t do anything to provoke it and that’s such a nice feeling

games

playing too many damn video games. I’m glad at least I don’t have an Xbox or Playstation because I would’ve lost it by now. I have an addictive personality like that. I’ll waste two or three days to reach that high score. resume the internal life again, pray. pray for enemies first. pray for everyone…… Continue reading games

late notes

I’m sleeping more. this is making me weak. I handled this recent trip to WV for the funeral very poorly. I was incredibility volatile and exhausted. that about to lose it feeling is one of the worst feelings you can have. I wish I wasn’t so damn lame sometimes. read d/l all the music you…… Continue reading late notes

men love self loathing women, women love to be loved more than to love themselves.

self running away ary, blurry eyed. explicative delete delete. spa steam and thick fog. deer smashing up your Dodge windshield. the gimmick is the cereal box prize. this is your diet. depressed pillow talk. slipped your fingers into the fan blades, your day was not happy. sit and stare for answers. you have to wait…… Continue reading men love self loathing women, women love to be loved more than to love themselves.

good rest

something about hotels I really like. I hope to figure some things out. many things. elder woman to your left side communicating from a formal need. what is that about? I don’t know. all I know is I saw the frail girl get out of the car looking like she couldn’t hurt a fly in…… Continue reading good rest

links

Matthew & Amanda just opened up their homebodies site. check it out. I’m reading this right now: learntarot.com this morning, thought this was interesting: U-TURN: BUSH ADMIN OUTLINES ‘GLOBAL WARMING’ EFFECTS ON AMERICA; ACKNOWLEDGES DAMAGE