The Small Moments

sweet waking up
first words
this into this, what means?
hello?
what is this gibberish?
I find myself
talking such crazy garble
and I make
no apologies for it
we all ask
how many have you had?
just one
just none—no beer at all
I’m naturally like this
or I’m unnaturally so
it is a nice morning
to wake into
the coffee pours on
I load up my radioshows
to listen to for
my work shift
and once again preparing
to bus on out
since the car is “dead”
Hitch’s Birds come on
the cats’ ears are spry
my first words add
to the detail of dawn
Hitchcock had
big dedication…

when I read on stage
there was a woman
with an infant in
the front row
made me uncomfortable
“I like the baby,” I said
“I just don’t wanna wake the baby”

breath flatlines
I think about what it will be
like to enter a type of heaven
I know I will get there
from a present moment
speech will be minimized

debating writing this article
on the ten day retreat,
instead I could break up
all the ideas into a series
and not at all say
where they came from

after all
most people don’t care
where I went

even when I’m talking
all they can hear
is themselves talking

I don’t wanna miss
all the opportunities life
has to offer

all the same I realize I may
obsess over writing and coffee sessions
and close everyone out
like there’s a lesson I have
to teach myself

getting myself down to
a sickness called
aging and… old age

I go on enjoying myself
in the smallest moments

I go on knowing
coming to a place of equanimity
is one of my
best shots at happiness

I go on doing this
trying to wake each morning
to meditate
if only for a few minutes

watching thoughts go by
like trains—
it’s as a friend said
“riding along on a horrible
thought, you don’t have to stay…
jump off at the next stop
and wait for something better…”

fitter… happier… more productive…