notes

What concerns me is that my health has diminished over the years; it only seems to be getting worse, despite my best efforts. Probably my efforts are not the best, because I seem to be missing something, and I’m cursing under my breath for it. Too many nights I find myself waking up fully congested full of phlegm hacking and coughing, nose running constantly. How is a person to get through such a thing? It’s hell on earth, to me. Endless skyscrapers of torment.

I have to admit that I have genuine anger, the kind that will not go away if I choose to ignore it in the name of being peaceful. The price to have it removed I doubt I can pay, nor do I know what currency is acceptable.

time to
get up and
pace

I’m sorry
cannot
give more

at least
my thoughts
are there

sick like this
I feel like
punching myself
in the chest
until I’m dead

it always has me
thinking
just how close
am I?
how close to death?