just a few notes before bed. I’m definitely inspired to write more, since I’m reading more. just a few pages a day is something. I will be writing out page after page – just as I’ve been doing. the years have treated me well in that way.
I’ll get in bed with my headphones on and think over whatever comes to me. unfortunately, I have unresolved issues to deal with; and the nightmares come.
being trapped in a job is no fun. you can tell by the expression on someone’s face just what kind of job they’re working, if it’s terrible or not. some say it’s irony. it’s either irony, or karmic. you work this 40 hour sacrifice to get by, to pay off all the bills, to keep the lights on, the heat on, put food on the table; later you find it’s not enough, that you’re *not* getting by, you’re still struggling and worrying and losing it.
close your eyes. done. but they’re sore, all of me is sore!
sick of it.
when I was a kid I sat on the hood
of my first car
looking out onto the street
thinking what a harsh world this is
thinking about what I was up against
today I thought about old people
in Florida
that can barely get it together
to vote
because their bodies
are breaking down so severely
they can’t really concentrate.
they pull out into the road without
even looking
they see nothing there
they fall backwards.
I guess I would like some relief. I could use some intense, real happiness these days, something more substantial. I have my humor and cynicism that go for a good while, but down in my soul, at that level, I think I need to do more. pray. write. those things.
whatever happens – happiness, misery, I’ll be here through all of it, accompanying you as World War III, the war of our lives, wages on.