be more careful

minutes later
empty bank accounts
whole sentences
where is
any of this
going?
less prominent
public figures
fade off
and fill gloss books
women in commercials
with
sidelong looks
stabbing sensation
money corporation
I can’t find the words
I can’t find my heart
I’m at a loss
I’m absolutely lost
I’ve let myself go
where’d it all go?

I don’t know why anyone would even read this, aside from the fact that it’s honest. it’s a shame that so much of my sanity has been resting on comfort and money for all this time. now that it’s gone, I don’t know what to do with myself. plagued with worry. faith in God is lacking. I must be honest about that. I’ve just let it slip, probably for no particular surface reason. but it feels good to admit that and make it public. we love ourselves, our money, our front rooms and refrigerators, more! we don’t think about it. we just do. we just do it. we act and don’t think.

it’s just a general observation. I have the worrying tendency, then I try to cover over it. I don’t pray or sit quiet these days. no particular reason, again, I’ve just let it slip. I’m not careful enough.