the elder

woke up from
long evening nap
decided from thinking
about this all day
that finally
I should go out
on a walk
through the
neighborhood
beautiful streets
and houses
I was hoping for
more lit up insides
but some were not
at home or had
turned in early
around 8:30
for a minute
I was reminded of
the neighborhood
of the first
Halloween movie
October is not
too far off
I’ll have to watch
that sometime soon
the air was perfect after
it rained
storms will come and
then stop on Wednesday
I could use just one
more day off
but I don’t get
things my way
not always
and not often
I have to carve out
my own style
from what’s given
to me
punk rock to me
was always about
doing that with
rebellion and appearing
rugged as just a
matter of defiance
to all of the
mainstream bullshit
in the world
as “the elder” I
suppose I’m continuing
on in this frame of mind
even if I walk down
this blocks a little more
unnoticed and in humble garb
clothes with holes in them
in bed I was thinking
how I had such
a messed up childhood
but also remembering
some of the good things
about it –
skateboarding, listening
to music, growing up and
further developing my
independence, the good
times I had with friends
and so on
the heart and soul
is to be remembered
through all the trouble
of the past, present
now at work
I’m with young kids
and I feel 70 years old
just ten years difference
really hits me
I don’t mind so much
but it’s definitely
something new for me
for some reason I never
expected that to
creep up on me
even though I listen to
a lot of current music
some things I’ve missed
a lot of teasing back and forth
the small babies and the old men
smirking