stomach as a violator. it is too late. my body is getting used to the late hours and I’m sleeping in now. it’s like being a kid again. summer, out of school, late night movies. the rest of the world. what does it mean to a young kid at this point? what you think is fun, try to get the most of it. walk through the mine fields. they were always trying to trap me. they were trying to trap me and get me to like it. to be one of them. I am still not one of them. one day they will dissect this body or just put it down in the earth or burn it up and give it to the wind, and then definitely they will have no claim to me.
thinking more about living here, out of D.C. it seemed as if it were a move that no one could imagine. leave? leave? what the hell are you talking about? I got the hell out though. I’m just listening to the birds at 2 o’clock in the morning. today I claimed my favorite mountain, the largest one, this shadow far off that can be seen off our back porch. D.C. is foreign to me now. how great is that? what if this is only a dream and I get dropped back on my ass in the middle of 20th street in the morning? then I will take some money from my pocket and buy a book close by. then I think I would finally quit the job and walk around town thinking about it, about this new freedom. I haven’t waken up yet. I think this is the real thing. welcome to the mountains.
the harsh realities remain in my head and fly around through nature all around me still. the move has changed me. strengthened my mind and body and spirit. there is still much work to be done. we are resting on our laurels now, unfortunately. now we have to rise up and move from here too, into a place we can call our own. I think soon enough my fam. will turn on us and we won’t be very welcome here any more. their nervous, negative nature produces this boiling feeling. we have to accept change as a big thing. we get in and unpack the u-haul, sleep for the night, and think we are done. hell no. that is maybe a tenth of the move in this lifetime. there will be more houses, apartments, cities, mountains, curbs and trash cans to take on.
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