I write for a bit
look down
try to enclose
myself in
the quiet
so that
I can be
real
and
nothing else
could
possibly
bother me
I have my
friends
and my
movies
the indoors
but also
I have nothing
when I’m
on the
sidewalk
when I’m
going up the muddy
street from all
the construction work
at that time
I have nothing
and it is such
a relief
and I won’t panic
because
I have
everything
when I sit down
and open
my bag
with books
and settle in
and pray to God
for mercy
I say to myself
“but God is
my friend”
strangers
can try to mock me
but what will it
matter
I’ve never put
my claim on
anything
you’d think people
feel threatened
by those that compete
but those that have
no fear or desire
or obligation
to be social
have the
best blood
if we can go through
this world together
if I can just
get through
this world and
hold together
dreamt I was with friends
and we got out of the pick up truck
they discovered I had
drawn some religious symbols
on it with a magic marker
and were shocked
they did not know me
to be a fanatic
or even spiritual
J. said he believed in God
but this was too much
and I backtracked
saying it was a joke
that I would go into
that department store
and bring back some
cloth and water
to clean it up
…. men all about the
bathroom, completely filthy
without even any clean cloth
…. on returning the truck was gone
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