late Sunday night

keeping a good eye on
my cat’s wily activities
there are many distractions
and he is a symbol of that
looking for cords to attack
balls of paper, shadows,
noises that startle and
make you jump a mile
into the sky
he is the most hilarious
person in the house
and when I leave
he keeps the place
on my mind
today cut grass for
both yards
tall tall grass
that makes the mower
shudder in fear
turn your black shoes
laundry tumble dries
after an argument
an argument can be
such madness
what will happen next
I don’t know
I prefer to break up the
hell of work and trust
my heart and be daring
you have that
or you have death
yeah, I mean,
you could be walking dead
and not know it

be glad for rain

asthma returns
goddamn it
it is
4:15 in the morning
why can’t I sleep
because of scratched up
lungs like
nails down a
chalk board

you can rest
with your gold watch

retirement is just
a two day span
I can’t hold my breath
for 30 years

they show movies
to make our
mouths water
it ain’t fair
how we fall in love
with the unobtainable

car alarms going off
fighting in the street
why can’t everyone
sleep or sit still
each breath is loud
and tiring
hot tea helps, soothes

the sun has come back out
be glad for rain
it only makes the sun
that much nicer
the moisture in the air!
makes it feel like the beach
if just for a moment

do I give enough?

life in a glass house

I’m glad there wasn’t a fight
if things are peaceful
there is less to talk about
I know
but no hard feelings
and no loss

go home and listen to
that song
life in a glass house
by Radiohead

that’s all for now

just what is emo

except for
which is
the best
thing for me
right now

if you think
of code
you start
to dream it
and life
very interesting
to talk

like a
glass of milk

you feel sorry
and sore
and wish for
just a little
more time
regret working
for anyone else
that all this
time is slaved
and you
are not this
enlightened being

push on
is all I can say

anyway, I’ll just
write a few more words
for the hell of it

I don’t like to blend
for anyone
like to be just
who I am
morning comes and
everything simple
becomes so hard
tired of the routine
smile and
good morning greeting

she’s got “fat girl syndrome”
he says
what’s that?
jealous of other pretty girls
who get all the attention
even the negative attention
and so with it
the symptoms are
bitchiness and hatred
for women
so then just another
person to feel
compassion for
I don’t hate these people
I explain
they just happen to
be in the way
when I have headaches

listening to that Cold Play love song, Yellow
I love the video for that one
very simple singing on
the beach like that, very emo
and note this: I guess I have my
own concept of what is emo
I mean one that seems different than . . .
what? a pair of glasses . . .
I don’t have to explain it
I guess I would say
I find it all in a movie, in finding a
human moment, when more of
the ego is stripped away
in all four seasons, in a record
that plays when
no one else is around
in caring for someone else
in petting the cat with a loving gaze
the piano has it
that emotion
which probably can’t be
there will always be
but I push on
it’s all I can say
I go on listening to
Radiohead, Cave In, and
many others
and riding the train
reading my book on the
Three Pillars
as an earnest student
working hard on many levels
and yes,
sleeping hard.